


The Hat

by shutupeccles



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fantasy, Humor, M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-08
Updated: 2010-07-08
Packaged: 2017-11-02 11:23:27
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,831
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/368437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shutupeccles/pseuds/shutupeccles
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>why Merlin is wearing a pointy hat in every picture of King Arthur and his wizardly advisor - it involves porn and the red feathered hat from The Poisoned Chalice<br/><a href="http://pics.livejournal.com/shutupeccles/pic/0002frt1/">
        <img/></a></p>
            </blockquote>





	The Hat

Merlin had forgotten all about The Hat.

That wretched feathered monstrosity of red felt, tartan ribbon and assorted feathers - including peacock - that had made him look and feel so ridiculous. In front of Nimueh no less! The last time he’d thought of the ghastly thing was when he faced her on the Isle of the Blessed.

‘How’s she going to take me seriously after seeing me in **that**?’ he’d thought to himself. Her smirk proved she didn’t but derisive smirks don’t protect you from magic, otherwise Arthur wouldn’t need Merlin at all. Not in an all-conquering ‘my hero’ capacity anyway, which he did.

The point being Merlin had forgotten all about The Hat and assumed Arthur had too.

Until he uttered those fateful words:

“Merlin, do you remember The Hat?”

Did he actually say it in capital letters or was special emphasis merely added by Merlin’s deep-seeded dread of the thing?

“Which hat would that be?”

“Don’t tell me you don’t know. **The** Hat, the one I made you wear however many years ago on whatever day all that terrible stuff happened.”

“Terrible stuff happens quite a lot.”

“On that worst day, the day you drank...the day I made you wear The Hat, with the flowing cloak and all that frippery.”

“Apart from me looking like a right pickle, how is **that** the worst day?”

“There are many reasons Merlin.”

“Give me two,” Merlin grinned at him. It wasn’t quite the same one he grinned at everyone else. This one, more often than not, made Arthur give in if only just a little.

“...   ...No.” Arthur turned away and talked at the window so Merlin couldn’t add a dimple and so bend him to his will. There were a lot of ways Merlin wanted to bend Arthur to his will: over his knee, over the bed, over the table... _phwuh_ ; but he hadn’t dared. Arthur still rambled on about the ‘not-hug’ after getting rid of Catrina. It was doubtful he would let Merlin kiss him let alone insert point Merlin into slot Arth... “Have you listened to a word I said?”

Arthur was looking at him through a perfectly curved eyebrow. Merlin’s mouth was replaced by that of a suffocating fish because a) nope, not a syllable and b) Arthur was GORGEOUS.

“Never mind Merlin. The point is: you in The Hat, tonight with my dinner, setting for two.”

“Anything else?”

“No, just The Hat...I mean forget the ceremonial robes. Your personal finest will do. Go clean out my stables,” he added irritably.

What on earth could justify The Hat? Was he finally going to propose to Gwen? Merlin hoped not. A year or so ago he would have quite happily donned the entire outfit if it got those two hitched, but not now.

>~>

“That’s your best is it?” Arthur neither scoffed nor sneered but he was obviously unimpressed. They weren’t Merlin’s best but he’d be blowed if... “You need to be paid more.”

Merlin had no answer for such an unexpected remark so instead asked a question of his own.

“So where’s Gwen then?”

“How should I know? Not any of my concern. Sit down.”

“Where?”

“At the table you idiot. You do eat this stuff don’t you?”

“Yeah, I guess so. Haven’t tried most of it,” Merlin silently dithered about a bit then sat down when Arthur frowned at him.

It wasn’t his exasperated or completely shitted off frown, more of an ‘are you alright’ frown and Merlin had to sit down to hide what was happening in his trousers.

“Why am I wearing The Hat?”

“Special occasion, try this,” he pointed to some mildly spiced meat on Merlin’s plate that did smell appealing.

“What special occasion would that be?” Merlin asked after tasting some of everything. Arthur had asked his opinion after every sample. If he didn’t like it, Arthur removed it and put it on his own plate. If he did like it, Arthur gave him his portion. Merlin wondered if he was going to be executed in the morning and Arthur was preventing him realising this was his ‘last meal’ by traumatising him with The Hat.

“It’s an anniversary of sorts.”

“Are you being vague on purpose or are you avoiding telling me that when the sun comes up my head shall roll?”

“What? Why would your head roll – oh, the magic thing. No I know nothing about that. You Merlin have no magical abilities whatsoever. None. Have some cider...”

“You know?”

“No I don’t and for both our sakes I intend to keep it that way until I am king, which I’m not. Drink up.”

Merlin sat and that was all.

“You really know how to make life difficult don’t you Merlin, always wanting to talk about things best left unsaid. If it will stop you niggling on about that fatal knack you have for making fortuitous coincidences happen everywhere we go...”

“Alright. I get it. Why The Hat?”

Arthur sat and that was all.

“Shall I demonstrate the fatal knack...?”

“You’re cute in it.”

“I’m what? Did you say cute?” More silence from Arthur. “Feel a tingling in my fingers, almost magi...”

“Cute isn’t entirely, shaggable would be more accurate.”

“Would you mind demonstrating just how shaggable?”

Arthur pulled Merlin out of his chair and onto his lap. Merlin found The Hat made him very shaggable indeed if the princely bulge burning through cloth against his buttocks was any indicator. Merlin leaned back and kissed him, two short then a long, bringing Arthur’s hand onto his own not-insignificant lump during the long. Arthur moved beneath him, his hand moved on top and Merlin moved in between until pre-cum was leaking from them both. Arthur stood abruptly, holding/catching Merlin to stop him falling and started removing Merlin’s lower clothing. Merlin did the same for Arthur and they stood kissing and touching. Arthur sat once more and again brought Merlin onto his lap, facing him this time so his legs draped over the arms of the chair. Merlin was too aroused and too enthralled by Arthur’s hand on his obvious arousal to notice he was sprawled like a chicken about to be stuffed. Arthur’s stiff cock rubbed between Merlin’s thigh and the side of his balls as he pressed against Arthur whose hand worked urgently but not harshly to bring Merlin off as their tongues clashed. His other hand curved under Merlin’s arse, helping him tilt back and forth in time with the hand job. Merlin’s hands were holding Arthur’s face so he could feel their kiss through his palms. Their foreheads touched as Merlin **_yaw_** -ed through his orgasm. Arthur caught his mouth again, almost eating his face as he spread Merlin’s fluid over their cocks and over the entrance to Merlin’s passage, probing just inside with one sticky fingertip as Merlin continued writhing on his lap.

“Oh,” Merlin bounced up and tightened his grip slightly before settling back down and moving his hands to Arthur’s shoulders. “Ohh,” he moaned lightly, eyes closing and enjoying the feel of a single digit sliding inside his ring, soon joined by a second.

Arthur wasn’t as patient as he should have been being the first time for them both, but being the first time he didn’t realise how long it took to be properly prepared. Merlin’s startled yelp and clenching of every muscle when Arthur removed his fingers and immediately replaced them with throbbing knob caused him to freeze as Merlin violently twisted the cloth of Arthur’s tunic.

“What? Sorry. Try to relax and I’ll...”

Merlin brought their mouths together, relaxed and slid a quarter, half, an inch. The smaller _yaw_ into Arthur’s mouth was one of astonished pleasure. Arthur’s responding moan was a prayer of lustful gratitude. Arthur helped support Merlin’s weight with his arms and together they eased him down, staggering his progress until he was almost sitting flush on Arthur. That’s when Arthur pushed up with his hips, not in a sharp thrust, enough to close the gap between them and return to his original position in the blink of an eye.

“Oh yes!” Arthur exclaimed deeply and did it again. Merlin bounced down at the same time.

“Arthur yes, more Arthur,” Merlin’s hands clasped behind Arthur’s neck, his arms, knees, hips and abdomen pulling them together then apart. Arthur’s hands were under Merlin’s buttocks, catching and bouncing him back up as he bumped up and down in opposing rhythm.

“God Merlin, god Merlin, oh yes, yes, YES! Faster if you can, ooah!”

They thudded together, faster and louder with ever shorter bounces until Merlin was sitting still with Arthur pulling down on his shoulders and thrusting up, injecting his climax as deep as he could with a yell that deafened Merlin’s right ear until noon.

“How often do you want me to wear The Hat?” Merlin asked teasingly as they gasped for air against each other, Arthur slowly wilting away from Merlin’s internal grip.

Arthur kissed him vigorously, slowing to soft rapid-fire kisses and then nestling his head into the curve of Merlin’s neck to catch his breath.

“As often as you can finish your duties ahead of time – without revealing your secret.”

Merlin became the most diligent servant in Camelot.

<~<

Merlin rode on Arthur’s lap far more decidedly then he ever sat a horse, even though this was far more difficult as he struggled to keep the heavy Hat on with one hand. He kept looking down to watch Arthur’s hands play enthusiastically with his balls and cock which were so conveniently within reach.

“Look up,” Arthur asked hoarsely.

“I want to watch me come on you,”

“You will, I want to look at you. Sit back and ride me Merlin, let me see your face. Oah!”

“Oah,” Merlin echoed as rocking back caused Arthur to touch him deeper inside. His shoulders rolled back, his hips tilted up and forward then ground him down and back.

They repeatedly chorused yes, Merlin, oh, Arthur, my god, harder, more and then Merlin’s eyes rolled back as Arthur went over the edge and filled his arse. Merlin’s head lolled lazily forward – not enough to dislodge The Hat, but enough to see Arthur’s hands working hungrily at his ridiculously full cock.

“God Merlin, I wish I could fuck your arse and suck your cock at the same time.”

Merlin’s spoof overflowed between Arthur’s fingers to spill all over his abdomen, even as far as his chest.

This time Merlin was allowed to use his magic in front of Arthur to fix the bed, clean them up and prepare his bath.

“Our bath Merlin,” Arthur embraced him from behind and kissed the back of his neck.

It was the first time he stayed in Arthur’s bed.

“What anniversary?” Merlin asked sleepily as Arthur snuggled against him. He’d forgotten to ask earlier due to mind-numbing first-time sex and then the promise of mind-blowing follow-up sex.

“Fifth.”

“Of?”

“Of the worst day.”

“Apart from me looking shaggable in The Hat, why would you want to remember that?”

“That’s the day I first knew I’d rather die than live without you.”

Merlin opened his eyes and smoothed two fingers through Arthur’s bath-damp fringe. Arthur didn’t stop him.

“Have you been in love with me all this time? What about Gwen?”

“I haven’t been in love with you since then. That’s just when I realised how important you are to me. Everything else has been steadily building on that.”

“But Gwen’s your one true love, the dragon said...”

“Are you going to believe a talking winged lizard or me? When I tell you I love you Merlin I’m saying it because I love you, not to play some fiendish mind game.”

Merlin shushed him with a smile, that’s all it took. The verbal “I love you too” was tautological.

>~>

Merlin bent Arthur over the table and they watched each other’s dim reflections in the window, backlit only by the fire in the hearth. The plumage of The Hat occasionally tickled against Arthur’s back as Merlin spread his cheeks with both hands to stretch his ring with his tongue before standing up to fuck into him from behind. The involuntary twitches those tickles sent through Arthur’s body made them both incredibly hard. Arthur came before Merlin could even go the reach around. Merlin came moments before Arthur’s arms gave out but the play of firelight and shadow on his sweaty back was so arousing Merlin stayed hard. He continued pumping, one hand on the back of Arthur’s neck, other on his hip until he was able to come again.

Merlin plucked a soft downy feather from The Hat and stroked Arthur’s face and neck with it until he fell asleep.

<~<

Merlin was starting to enjoy wearing The Hat. He didn’t wear it every time, only when they were feeling particularly adventurous or needed their spirits lifted. Its flamboyance seemed especially appropriate the night of the masquerade. Uther had informed Arthur if he did not choose a noble bride by Beltane one would be chosen for him. Arthur swore his father was doing this to publicly shame Merlin, for while their relationship was not common knowledge it had not gone unnoticed by a discreet few. Merlin desperately needed cheering for what was bound to become his new worst day and was disappointed at not being able to find The Hat until he saw Arthur enter the main hall.

He’d obviously been into Morgana’s rooms, locked since her most recent bitter departure from Camelot. Her red velvet cloak was over his shoulders, hood down so as not to detract from the magnificent Hat (how had Merlin ever thought it hideous?); a sheen of copper-gold powder painted from brows to cheekbones in place of a mask; lower lip painted a dark purple; dark fitted breeches; matching fingerless gloves; boots that sat directly below the knee; foreign rapier belted at his hip and no shirt. He was like a figure from childhood tales of the Daone Sidhe, beyond human and captivatingly, dangerously beautiful.

By the sounds from the crowd and the number of swooning Ladies, Merlin wasn’t the only one to almost spontaneously orgasm simply by looking at him.

Blue eyes hunted him out among the servants lining the shadows, common by comparison in the finely woven blue shirt, black breeches and matching boots Arthur had gifted him with on the sixth anniversary of the worst day. The bold vision of wickedness strode purposefully across the hall, drawing every eye after him, stopped immediately in front of Merlin – so close only a breath could fit between them, stroked a finger down Merlin’s face from temple to chin, tilted his chin forward and brushed his stained lips once cross Merlin’s bare ones.

“I love you,” he whispered, took Merlin’s hand, leading him to stand behind his throne then strode forward in a dizzying swirl of red, to stand defiantly confident at his father’s scowling side.

Merlin couldn’t breathe. Arthur had marked him as his choice in front of the entire court. No matter what marriage Uther forced upon his son, the prince’s bride would know where his heart lay. Neither Uther nor Merlin knew Arthur had only begun to prove his point.

“What is the meaning of this insolent display?” Uther growled in the low rumble of an alpha wolf.

“There have been rumours against my manservant claiming he has seduced me. I thought it best to clear his reputation once and for all. Let there be no doubt in your mind Father that I pursued Merlin with the intention of bringing him to my bed and I succeeded, frequently in fact. So which of these noble brood sows have you chosen to become my wife?”

“Impertinence! You will renounce him.”

“I will not.”

“He is a servant, by treating him as a whore...”

“He receives no payment therefore he is not a whore.”

“He is a whore!”

“ **He is my life**!” Their voices had remained low but now Arthur’s rang out.

“Renounce him or his life is forfeit.”

“He saved you from dying at my hand, continue to challenge me and I will not allow him to do so again. Try to have me incarcerated or threaten Merlin in any way and I shall leave your kingdom never to return.” He deliberately turned his back on the King and offered a hand to Merlin, palm up in the manner of a supplicant. “So Merlin, there is food to be eaten, cider to be drunk, dancing to be done, songs to be sung and lots of naughty fun to be had. Would you care to join me?”

Contrary to the confident tone Merlin saw the minute quaver in Arthur’s extended fingers, conflict in his eyes. Merlin didn’t have to follow his lead. He could refuse him and remain employed. Arthur would understand if Merlin did so but he hoped he would not. Merlin stepped forward and placed his hand in Arthur’s.

“I would be honoured My Lord.” There was no teasing banter in the formal address. He could not deny the man he loved.

No effort was made to stop their exit from the hall.

They were barely halfway up the stairs to Arthur’s rooms when the prince decided this was the perfect place to ravish his lover.

“Arthur...”

“No, I’ve waited long enough,” Arthur punctuated his words with kisses, fondles and fumbling with lacings. “As soon as I saw you in the hall, so wondrous and perfect I knew I couldn’t go through with it. I won’t live without you.”

“You won’t have to. But we can’t, not here.”

“Everyone does Merlin. People will be fucking everywhere until the sun rises. This is the one night when we can be like everyone else; free to be lovers not prince and warlo...”

Merlin surrendered with a passionate kiss. His soft boots slid off easily and Arthur made short work of the rest of Merlin’s clothes, plomping The Hat onto his head as he removed his own boots and Merlin unclasped the cape. Merlin unbuckled the belt, sliding his hands around Arthur’s backside as soon as the pants that only accentuated his masculinity fell low enough.

Arthur lifted him up by placing both hands where thighs joined arse and Merlin automatically raised his knees either side of Arthur’s shoulders as his own were pushed onto the Pendragon wall hanging. Arthur’s tongue thrust and parried with Merlin’s as they pulled him over the edge with joined hands. Merlin clamped both hands onto the back of Arthur’s neck, smearing spoof through copper-gold hair and on skin as Arthur smeared some on his cock. They knew each other so well they could shift and move to accommodate the other without talking, without thinking. Arthur took a small step back, Merlin leaned back at an angle so nothing below his shoulder blades touched the cloth covered wall. Arthur gripped Merlin’s hips as he slid into him, maintaining that position for several quick, shallow pumps; never completely withdrawing but always pulling back far enough for the widest part of his knob to exit and enter again. This he did for Merlin who encouraged him verbally and physically. As much as Merlin enjoyed the fullness associated with deep penetration it was the continued play of knob against ring that gave him the most pleasure when he was sheath to Arthur’s sword; and it was Merlin’s pleasure that made Arthur’s more intense.

Once Merlin was satisfied enough to consider Arthur’s needs he jounced his hips and Arthur slid further in. Merlin was truly the dominant sexual partner, even in supposedly submissive positions, a fact that despite Merlin’s intentions did not escape Arthur who happened to get off on it in a very big way. It was all win. Arthur moved one hand at a time onto the wall immediately below Merlin’s scapula and plunged into him as hard, far and fast as he could. Merlin’s back and shoulders rolled, his neck and head forced up and down the tapestry as Arthur thrust his cock in and out. His knees and legs pressed in against Arthur’s shoulders, locking him in their possessive grip as princely hips pounded pelvis noisily against his arse; harder, harder, harder, _harder, harder, **harder**_.

“Come for me Arthur.” Merlin exhaled the words.

“Not yet,” Arthur rotated his hips on the next deep trust and Merlin cried out loudly as the hard muscle moved inside him in an unfamiliar pattern to hit the spot that always shattered any control he may have retained.

“ ** _ARTHUR!_** ”

The word rang out loud and clear to echo up and down the stairs, along the corridors and into nearby rooms. Arthur came close behind and his cry of **_“Merlin!”_** was added to the repetition of his own name.

Before they were able to do more than catch their breath Uther’s guards were upon them. They were forcibly separated and taken naked to Arthur’s room.

“Our room,” Arthur insisted.

Uther entered only once they were both dressed and sentenced them to immediate exile on punishment of death should they refuse. He would have ordered Merlin executed on the spot but knew he would have to murder his own son to do it.

“Your plaything is banished for life. Renounce him now Arthur and you may stay.”

Arthur remained resolutely silent. His only response was to take Merlin’s hand, stroking his thumb over the pale skin. Uther hurrumphed and tried another approach.

“When you outgrow this obsession and cast him aside, which you will, you may return to seek my forgiveness. Prove yourself worthy and you will be renamed as heir. Until then I disown you. You may take the clothes on your backs, one water skin, one loaf of bread and one horse between you. Try to take anything else and you shall be arrested as thieves. Get out of my sight.”

Uther could not know that their combined voice resonated with a connection so deep the sound was captured in every stone of the castle and would reverberate within its walls until the reign of King Arthur ended.

 

>~>

Years passed as they lived like vagabonds.

Not entirely like vagabonds and not because of Merlin’s magic either. Arthur encouraged him to use it once they left Camelot but never for Arthur’s own gain.

“Let me, for you,” Merlin would protest softly with a series of kisses or a single touch.

“And what can I do for you Merlin?”

“Love me.”

“I already do. No Merlin, once I have proven I am not a selfish prat then you may do as you wish for me.”

“Does that apply to doing whatever I wish to do **to** you as well?”

“No limits apply there. You deserve to have **some** fun.”

Merlin and Arthur did not live in complete poverty because after a few months they were welcomed everywhere they went. Things that were wrong had a habit of suddenly going right in every settlement they passed through. At least it appeared that way to the residents who did not see how much physical and magical effort was expended on their behalf. The pair were always given shelter, food, clothing, even coin when it was available. They made a point of never taking more than was needful and only that if it could be spared

Their love for each other grew deeper and stronger. Their reputation in that regard preceded them too and they were given privacy to fornicate like the sex fiends they were. Everyone knew Fae creatures were hornier than humans and that one with dark hair had a Fae look about him alright.

They were between towns and fucking in a field with Merlin pushing Arthur’s shoulder into the grass as he filled him from behind. He felt a tremor in the earth that had nothing to do with their tremendously messy orgasm.

Camelot was calling them home.

<~<

“I miss The Hat. Do you think your father...?”

“No Merlin, I don’t think he preserved The Hat.”

“Homecoming sex would be much more fun with...”

“Shut up Merlin.”

Merlin took his lover’s hand.

“I won’t let him hurt you Arthur.”

“It’s not me I’m worried about.”

“I know that by hurting me he’ll be hurting you. I won’t let him do that either.”

Arthur put his arm around Merlin’s waist and drew him close for a kiss. Merlin kept his arm around Arthur’s shoulders as they entered the castle.

“Did you hear that?” Arthur looked curiously to Merlin.

He had heard the echo of their names as well.

“Your kingdom is welcoming us home.”

“Our kingdom.”

Merlin grinned at him. They were older, their limbs not as coltish, hands not as smooth, skin not as fair. They wore neatly trimmed beards and often darned clothes – _I’m not completely useless Merlin and if I don’t do something I’ll go insane_ – their boots were new, given to them by a cobbler in the lower town for saving his youngest daughter from a runaway cart. But that grin still slayed Arthur every time.

“You’re both here, good.” A knight greeted them at the door to the throne room. “The King will be most pleased. Do you wish to be announced My Lords or shall you barge in as you used to?”

“Barging sounds good. How many babies has your pretty wife given you now Sir Leon?”

“Only the two My Lord; she died in childbed with the third.”

“I’m truly sorry.”

“As am I.”

“Thank you My Lords.”

“I’m not a lord.”

“Yes you are. As the Crown Prince’s chosen, um, consort you have been given a title. It seems to make the King more comfortable with...”

“The fact I’m fucking his son on a regular basis?”

“Merlin! We’re not in the hinterlands now.”

“Didn’t stop you feeling me up in the saddlery yesterday afternoon,”

“Merlin,”

“or banging me on the stairs in such a manner that we were exiled in the first place.”

“I give up.”

Merlin grinned.

“I think I’d best escort you in,” Leon offered.

>~>

“Is my father insane Merlin?” Arthur asked as Merlin prepared their bath.

Merlin was excited. They hadn’t had a bath big enough to share since leaving. Also, he’d found The Hat which he was now wearing. The Hat was all he was wearing and Arthur had failed to notice either fact.

“No. The walls were talking; we heard them when we came in. If you listen closely you can still hear them. There’s no silence.”

“Did your magic do that?”

“ _Our_ magic did that. Take your clothes off so we can make some more.”

Arthur finally saw The Hat on Merlin’s head and smiled, moved forward and kissed him softly.

“Silly goose.”

“Let me undress you the way I used to.”

“You’re my equal now Merlin.”

“Humour me,” he didn’t even need to grin.

Their relationship had grown from the brief discussions, which were mostly banter, as Merlin performed the small daily rituals of assisting Arthur in and out of his armour and clothes. They both knew there was no going back to such innocent friendship, neither did they want it but the years had not yet been long enough for the court of Camelot to entirely forget the dramatic exit of their prince.

“Despite your new title many will demand you step aside or be kept hidden. Our presence may cause more unrest rather than ease it.”

“Just don’t shag me in public again and everything should be fine.”

“Merlin, I’m serious. You are the one I have chosen to share my life with but they will still call you a grasping whore, not all of them behind your back.”

“What do you want me to say? ‘Fine I’ll leave’ or ‘let’s run away together’? We both know you haven’t stopped worrying about the people of Camelot just because we lived in other kingdoms and we both know only death will keep me from your side. I know you want to prepare and protect me from their juvenile manipulations.”

“You’re not a sacrifice.” Arthur ran a hand over Merlin’s shoulder as he removed the last of his travelling attire. “I didn’t bring you home to feed you to the wolves out of loyalty to Camelot.”

Merlin kissed Arthur’s thigh. “I know.”

He began to kiss him again.

“No, stand.”

Merlin stood. Arthur kneeled before him, touching and kissing up and down the inside of both thighs before massaging his sack with his lips, sucking each ball and out of his mouth, licking all along the underside of his shaft from root slit. Merlin’s smooth head rested only just inside Arthur’s mouth as he rapidly flicked his tongue between slit and upward curve of his lover’s knob. Merlin’s hands rested on his head, his knees bent slightly and his voice sighed “Arthur yes, oh that’s wonderful, so nice” until he started to want more. His hips and knees bounced together; Arthur took him in deep and fast; Merlin clutched Arthur’s hair; Arthur slid and sucked ravenously; Merlin came and Arthur ate him until there was nothing left.

Merlin coaxed him up with one hand gently holding each side of his face below the jaw, lost his balance and The Hat fell into the tub. While Merlin was bent backwards in his arms Arthur gave him a deeply romantic if rather sproggy snog.

“Hop in after it Merlin,” he commanded huskily.

Merlin sat in the tub, heated the water magically as it had gotten cool and salvaged The Hat a moment before Arthur landed in his lap.

“The Hat’s ruined now,” Merlin sulked. Arthur scoffed.

Merlin remembered how tickly Arthur found the feathers against his skin, silently slid one out of the band and brushed it teasingly down Arthur’s side. Arthur shivered against him. Merlin kissed the back of his neck and tickled the very edge of the feather up. Arthur clamped his arm against it.

“Stop being such a girl Arthur.”

“When you stop being an ass. I’m too tired for games Merlin, really. I just want to wash and go to sleep.”

“That’s all?” Merlin asked as he lightly soaped up Arthur’s semi hard on. It wasn’t going to stay semi for long, especially not when Merlin continued murmuring behind his ear. “I know how you get when you eat me Arthur. You won’t be able to sleep without at least manual relief.”

Arthur leaned/turned back for a kiss. Merlin was happy to oblige. He placed his other arm along Arthur’s while his first hand gently made his cock hard enough to stand.

“Spread for me Arthur, wide as you can,” Merlin firmly ran his hand down and back up the inside of an open thigh. “That’s it, so gorgeous the way you open up for me.”

 Arthur’s free arm bent up and back to hold Merlin’s head close to his. They both watched Merlin’s hand stretch and squeeze Arthur’s balls and fondle the ridge beneath them until Arthur’s hips began to twitch and his cock darken. He thrust up into Merlin’s hand before it finished closing around him. Merlin ringed finger and thumb beneath the flared rim of Arthur’s knob and striped it down, his other fingers bumping hard onto Arthur’s ball sack, flipped back up and down until Arthur tried to shift his trapped hand to wrap it around Merlin’s. Merlin closed his whole hand over him and released the trapped hand, watching intently as Arthur immediately reached below his sack and fingered himself while Merlin continued pulling him off.

“Two fingers, put two in Arthur; tell me how it feels, what do you feel like inside Arthur?”

Water slapped around them as they became aggressive in their exertions; Arthur gasping, moaning and panting nothings while Merlin groaned instructions to him.  Merlin felt another orgasm building in his own loins as Arthur bumped back against him after every upward thrust. Arthur leaned his shoulders back and rested his feet on the side of the tub so he could spread wider still. His hips tilted off Merlin’s lap but neither cared because seeing what they were both doing to him at the very surface of the water brought them both closer. Merlin lifted his empty hand to pull Arthur’s sweating head tight against his neck so he could get a perfect view.

“Faster Arthur, poke them up in there, another one ohhoh yes, harder, fuck yourself for me, hard like I would, yes, yes, yes Arthur come for me, come for me, come for me!”

Arthur removed his fingers from his own arsehole and clutched the side of the wooden tub just before he came with an exhausted, guttural roar.

Merlin moved both hands to hold them together as he leaned forward, Arthur’s hand slipping limply from Merlin’s dark hair to rest on the other side of the tub as Merlin slammed his swollen dick into Arthur’s stretched arse. Arthur struggled to keep his head up as Merlin pounded into him again, again, again, again-again-again-again, **_AGAIN_** and then they were done.

 “’nother bath,” Arthur puffed pathetically.

“Can’t be arsed,” Merlin gasped against him.

They clambered spoofy and wet to their bed where they immediately collapsed and fell asleep. Arthur stirred a few hours later and tried to get Merlin between the bedclothes without much success. He snuggled as close as he could without slipping inside Merlin and partially wrapped the covers over them. It would have to do.

<~<

Merlin was determined to have a hat.

“You’re the aphrodisiac Merlin, not The Hat.”

“The Hat’s symbolic.”

“For what? How horny you make me? I think my magnificent erection’s symbolic enough.”

Merlin sucked Arthur’s magnificently erect cock until it could only be symbolic of an exploded sausage before explaining the true importance of The Hat.

“I wore it the day you realised you couldn’t live without me, I wore it the day you told me you couldn’t live without me, you wore it the day you singled me out – proposed to me without proposing to me because there can never be any marriage to propose. It was proof you can’t live without me but I wore it every other time to prove I can’t live without you.”

“Then we shall find you a hat.”

>~>

It was not until the week after Arthur’s coronation that they found a hat they were both happy with. It had no feathers and no ribbon; it was not heavy nor made of felt. It was a plain hat, a comfortable hat, a practical hat...with a pointy bit on top.

The pointy bit was important, not because of all the possible amusing penis references surprisingly enough. No, it was important because in any crowd, be it peaceful or violent, whether he be mounted or on foot, Arthur would spot the pointy hat and know he did not have to try to live without Merlin, just yet.

...And that, dear children, is why in every picture of King Arthur and his wizardly Advisor, Merlin is wearing a pointy hat.


End file.
